Eternal Earth

My youngest..........

2010-10-15T09:08:00.000-04:00

peace!

well 12 years ago today,(October 9th) my daughter, my youngest was born....again I say...12 years ago my daughter Zoey Monique was born. As the other two births I also remember hers like it was yesterday, by the time she was born myself and my ex were pretty much experts at this and it was just pretty much routine...lol..
...it was the last episode of ER (yeah when George Clooney was on it...lol..), my ex and I ate a LARGE pizza that we finished off by ourselves and just finishing watching ER. At that time in my life I stayed in swearpants, had every color, that night had on my favorite pair....the black ones:) Zoey moved alot one of the most active babies out of the three, at the end of my pregnancy with her I was put on leave as I was having prematureing labor with her, (im having a hard time writing this....my kids are big:(

..okay, stronger today..lol...so my water breaks now this is my third child and I have never had my water just naturally break so when it broke I had not a clue what this white clear liquidy stuff was, at the time Aunt Beck was living with us and so ofcourse she told me what it was, and we were off. Soon as I got in the car they started....wwwwoooooooeeeeee....labor pain, something you will NEVER forget..lol....I wont get into the details of the labor yet a large pizza before labor wasent cool at all....Zo was a difficult labor (just like her attitude now, lol)...there are two ways babies can come out, (meaning their head position) with their chin down or up, and that will determine the position of their shoulders, will ofcourse homegirl has to have her chin down which makes her shoulders more wider which in turn harder to push...(smh)....it was difficult...my ex was falling asleep (as usual, this being his 4th labor..lol), I was pulling out IV's, blah, blah, blah,..lol...she came......Zoey Monique arrived, little thing, like ALL my children, I mean I am little as well, so im not pushing anything more than 7 pounds out....Zoey....gosh, hardly can believe it, THEY are all growing up........

Peace!!!

so disgusted!!!

2010-09-26T10:34:00.003-04:00

Peace......

..been a minute....moving with life and NOT missing a minute:) (((hugs))) ya'll doing good, will so:)

I am so disgusted by the church of ALL denominations, you give credit to someone YOU cant see I honestly have to view you in a cautious manner.

Why wont you take accountability for self?
When good things happen a birth of a baby, marriage, job promotion ect. why would you thank somebody who you cant see, YOU didn't do all the work?

My girls know...they play around with me when it comes to this mystery man, yet they know, everything in MY life has been by the hands of ME, no outside force and I am not giving NO DAMN credit to no one for my bad decisions or my good decisions.

This molesting of children is sicking to me, I caught this show on CNN 'What The Pope Knew', long story short a minister (or whatever they are calling them these days) molested boys for years at a deaf school and proceeded his career onto working with the Pope (smh).....on top of Eddie Long. Just disgusting... Yet you all want to pray for me....please DON'T!!!

Having a better understanding of who I am has me making very sound and strong decisions whether good or bad I make them.......I am almost pitiful for those who dont depend on themselves as much, why don't you have the confidence in you, what happened your hands are not good enough?

When I hear conversations or see things on FB like "oh Thank GOd for my blessings" ect ect...what does that exactly mean? He blessed you with a job?, you didn't go for the interview? I mean i don't get it.....'thank god for this food', I though i just cooked this meal, shouldn't you be thanking me, and by the way I went to the grocery store to buy these food that i cooked....I think those folks are crazy......

I have been called crazy LOTS of times, it use to really bother me, now I laugh inside when i hear that, Im crazy cause i made a right and exact point, well ill be crazy, at least I depend on me, and NO ONE else, and shit gets done. Yet the ones I see go into this building put money in a basket, plate, barely able to feed his/her family, fall down on the ground, raise hands in the air, hollering and screaming for someone who isent there, and Im crazy.....HA!!!!

They are molesting our babies, yet can still get a chance to apologies.....The Petit Trail is going on here in CT these men BRUTALLY slaughtered this family and trust there is no mercy for them, so what is the difference?

These are times I will my dad was alive, my pops...down south man, a very proud black man, read the bible yet not heavy with me on it....I love to hear what he has to say on why the black community (especially) feels the need to depend on someone else and someone they cant see. I look back when I was growing up and I had a great home, two hard working parents, we had all the materialistic BS that society impels us to have, and I accredit my mother and mainly my pops for that...no damn mystery!

TAKE NOTHING ON FACE VALUE!!!!!

Proper Education Always Corrects Errors

Ruthie......

2010-06-05T11:26:00.026-04:00

Peace-

My mother and I have had a love/hate relationship my whole entire life, and has gotten worse is the last 5 years.

My mother was born in Trinidad and Tobago and my grandparents our from India and were Hindi. She come from 13 kids and I believe she is the 8Th in line. I am not sure at all how their upbringing was, when I do ask questions everyone just clams up (aunts, uncles older cousins...so I do my best to keep my third eye wide open for anything to get a better understanding of this woman that gave birth to me.

My mother is an odd lady.....she is the definition of negativity (my father the complete opposite) nothing is ever good enough for her, she shows no physical type of emotion of love only anger and hate. Her way of showing love to me was buying me everything under the sun and as I got older, cash. She is pleasant when need be to everyone but me....yet it is what it is.

In the last 4yrs my mother has lost two of her sisters (the two that she was very close too) one of ovarian cancer and the other of metastasized breast cancer,and I just found out that my Uncle in Trini just had his foot amputated due to diabetes..and this uncle is my mom's fav they are INCREDIBLY close. My aunt that died of metastasized breast cancer lived in Stamford so we saw her often....I think her death put my mother over the ledge, actually it did. Since my aunts death my mother has been more agitated, meaner, absolutely no type of tolerance and just mean as all hell. My mother is 68....she is not old. She is in good health, yet her depression is NOW ailing her physically.

We visited with her yesterday....her and I know longer really speak as it is not good for my well being, and if I'm NOT good ain't no one around me gonna be good. I have done an incredible amount of studying and understanding since studying 120, and out the blue (as how usually understanding comes) I realized that all of the intense relationships that I have (my oldest daughters father and my marriage) were due to what I was use too, abuse. My mother had always been verbal abusive....sooooo those were the men I chose, my oldest daughters father was physically abusive and my ex-husband was verbally abusive. My ex-husband watched this type of abusive his whole life so its his nature, controlling behaviour, especially with women. Realizing this I have made a sound decision to remove myself from all that whom to be extremely negative and can not own up to one's responsibilities and controlling people just to be controlling. So why mom dukes and I keep are distance, since doing this my heart and my mind are lighter and I see so much more clearly (UNDERSTANDING:).

So as we know what you see in your cipher is what you will be. Why for the change...my wisdom seed has a mouth as any 13yr old teenager, yet disrespect so out of line that it will literally stop you in your tracks to check again how old YOU are. Yes, I have spoken to the father on numerous occasions, have spoke to her many different times on this.....now due to the divorce as well as foreclosure I have opt to put them in counseling, the father thinks they don't need it, his words 'YOU need it most', lol...of course I'm in therapy as well...the choices I have made have, some definitely not good and some HAD to be done....and I have NO REGRETS....yet life is not as smooth as we all like it to be.....so we continue to get through the hell to live/love right....I AM!!!! My sternness though is falling on deaf ass ears.....the wisdom seed I understand....cycles, friendships, transitioning from a child to a young lady and about to start high school....so I understand, also finding and loving self at its most organic form, which for a teenager does not happen, trust I know, just went through one and at 19, I am NOW starting to see the transitioning...any who back the the wisdom seed so with all that she is going through the father on the other hand does not help....his words may say he is, yet his sidebar comments and actions show differently. The cycle that we had seem to be continuing had stopped when we divorced and when I took real notice on both our childhoods, reflecting that someone has to take a stand for the better.....breaking my heart to tiny pieces that I have NEVER experienced before watching this train wreck unfolding is so disturbing. I talk alot....especially since the divorce and the foreclosure so no rock has not been kicked turned and thrown out a few times.....yet I am NOT going to stay in hard, depressant types....striving for the best....so far.....so good. The wounds though still take time to heal why the children will go to therapy....funny....EVERYONE who i have spoke to agree...a divorce is a death and what i heard this morning speaking to one of the psychiatrist i work with its a death of all the dreams and plans that were anticipated, love that, and could not be more true. I have ALWAYS own up and taken responsibility, my ex tried to go kinetic when i mentioned that this morning which is hilarious, my saying when we were divorcing....'I will take 70% of the blame as I am no angel' and stand strong and firm behind that, a marriage is with two people as well as a divorce. He on the other hand does not and has shown and proven time and time again by disbarring members of family and friends for issues that pertain with him instead of taking responsibility.......why these issues with my wisdom seed or getting truly out of hand. So in an a emergency phone call to the therapist was warranted after meeting with the father and the child. My point of this blog......we ALL go issues in our family, some with deep rooted secrets, and what I have discovered SECRETS KEEP PEOPLE SICK. I REFUSE to let this happen to me or my children, I understand what is going on with my children each one of them, and to address them to break the serious cycles that have been going on from the past.

1. Hug and love your children ALL the time...smother them.

2. Take the time for one and one with your children.

3. Listen to them and make the necessary changes that HAVE to be made with in yourself...change is NECESSARY (i know i have said this)We has adults THINK that everything we do is right and exact yet, sometimes it isn't, and best believe your children will say so, a saying the ex uses and I used to use it too...'Do as I say NOT as I do'...well if that isn't being a straight up hypocrite i don't now what is. If i hit you and my kids see this and then turn around and hit someone else who am i to tell them no hitting?..point made, will point taken.

I blog to vent, I blog to help others help THEMSELVES and those in their cipher. No one gives us a book at 18 and says 'here, and any problems check the troubleshooting page'.....real talk....A person you continues not to take responsibility for their words and actions is someone who also wants to keep separation (savage)...if you come in contact with me, this will not happen, I did for a long time separate myself thinking (not knowing) that no one liked me or cared for me...hmph so farther from the truth, now that I'm out and about my actions show and prove im really not the bitch that all anticipated. COMMUNICATE!!!!

...always coming in peace and I leave always in...........PEACEEEEEEEE ((((HUGS))))

A Sketch of Tranquility

2010-05-27T10:17:00.001-04:00

Peace-

So, I have been an avid reader for the last 3 years, mostly non-fiction. In the three years a ran up on a blog spot of The God Emblem.

(http://emblemofjustice.blogspot.com/...........not sure how I even found it, yet I did. To give a little back round Emblem is a 5% (a tru n liveing, like for real)..I had started copying his blogs for my ex-God to read (he was incarcerated at the time)...he read and said yeah he a tru n living..just is, now this was the beginning of myself getting into 120 (knowledge of self)....and if anyone who knows that studies and IS 120 knows its like new air :)....I honestly can not explain it in words,yet the one that does is Emblem. Just go to his blogspot and enter the real air of life. So anyways he started writing Sketch, not a clue to how it even started for him, all is his blogs are everything and anything of life, reality, related back to 120, its crazy...it freaking makes sense!

So he wrote a book A Sketch of Tranquility, that I received thanks to his Queen, Earth, Maternal, Luminous...to me ultimately Earth! Now before i get into the book, it was actually a blog, every week ( I believe) was a new episode a soap opera in writing. I was OBSESSED i tell you, checking every damn day like a fiend, on the phone analyzing with the ex-God on it (yes he was getting copies too). WE ALL have relationships with everyone in life, mother, sister, friend, boyfriend, husband, daughter, son, cousin....relationships...bonds......I related! Fast forwarding....he stopped writing, WTF....

The book! http://asketchoftranquility.blogspot.com/

Trying my hardest not to harass, I would drop messages to him, when is the next one, blah, blah, nothing! Then the book was coming....too excited. You say all over a book?, INDEED, if you are an avid reader, an experienced reader, not do you just read the book, you wanna know what is up with the author their thoughts, how well they relate to the reader....Em got it! Sketch got me...All relations of everyone in the book, every character, I don't just have one favorite of each character with whom they may relate i love them all, each one got swag:)...........Intrigued? Cop it, read it in less than 24 hours.....so it captivates you from beginning to end. I will his audience gets bigger those that don't know are soooooooo missing out.

http://asketchoftranquility.blogspot.com/

I thank you all for taking the time to come through, so do me a favor go check the God and cop the book, thank you so kindly *curtsies*

As always I come as I leave eternally in peace;).....peaceeeeeeeeeeee

US

2010-05-18T20:24:00.001-04:00

Random----

2010-05-04T09:00:00.024-04:00

Peace...always willing for all to strive to be the best YOU!

This is straight off the cuff, not prewritten or anything...just gonna write whatever....

My sista cipher is amazing, strong women, smart women, ALL different walks of life...so proud of them all ((hugs))...I learn so much from them...my female cipher throughout the years is very small, my bestie moved to Texas, my other bestie we broke up, lol...after a 10+ year friendship, yet I saw it coming....once you get KOS, or start studying...its hard for others to handle it, visions are different, understanding is different....miss her, yet feeling amazing....odd huh *shrugs shoulders* it is what it is:)

I think my TV is busted, just when the boondocks season 3 started :/. Yes, I am a boondocks fanatic, as well as my children, great info for them and ALWAYS a topic of discussion...love aaron mcgruder...power back to us my brotha (fist in the air)

All these damn classes I have to take for work is a pain in the ass CPR, CPI (crises prevention intervention, learning to through someones ass down..lol) lately it just seems non-stop, on top of online courses(smh) a score is not going to correctly calculate how well I know something, especially when working in a hands on environment..procedure this, procedure that...middle finger this!!!

The spring/summer time is here, which means ALOT of shows I am attending...its what I do my line up thus far is a hip-hop heads dream, the 15th of May Fresh Fest in Bridgeport CT, Old School at its finest too excited for that, the 18th Amel Larrieux my all time favorite R & B on the 18th at the Blue Note...rolling dolo on this one so anyone wanna join me I'm down:), Brooklyn hip-hop fest, and of course the little small venues that I like to do. Just seen Brand Nubian and Black Sheep this past weekend in Hartford and it was peace, older crowd of course, sad to me that the younger crowd has not a clue...I can never get tired of the 7's and Ive seen them many times can't even count how many.

I am gonna be culture cipher (40) at the end of the year, and yes I am VERY excited to be that:)

My girls are HIGH INTENSITY....everything is now...(young women..lol)

my 19yr old (going to be 20 at the end of the year) is striving, I am seeing it more, slow as molasses in growth, yet ill take what I can see, good kid, really is...just striving to make her path.....

my 13yr old...race issues at the school, and I know will NOT be the last, cant stand dealing with that shit, wrote my letters, was very clear...i don't think they were expecting me to have read their board of ed book....only to find out that her father knows someone in the board of ed...yet I had to deal with this shit....and I will...what better person!! more issues with parents speaking ill on my daughter (dealing with this at present so still looking into everything another pain in the ass, and of course the father wants me to do all the damn leg work, mhm, again what better person to do it:)...yeah my plate is full with leftovers for days...lol...and speaking of plates...been making some real big fat moves lately, since teaching myself to cook vegan i have been packing the weight on...the girls don't even know the difference, so it helps that there are no leftovers (thank goodness) cooking vegan is good, yet damn expensive, I got all the basics now (sugar, flour, butter, vegan meat, cheese) so ill continue, what I learn and teach my children is for them to make good choices with having the know and can show and prove:)...

aaaaaa my baby the 11 yr old.....100% kid...still complains about soccer, still playing soccer...I have to say all three are growing up nicely, respectable children (at least to others) well mannered and polite, I get nothing but wonderful comments on them....so I guess the father and I are not doing too bad....and I'm proud of that...him and I are very difficult people....and those kids can put up with us, they damn sure can take on the world.....So hands in the air for the Davis Ladies.

my lessons...I think I finally found an educator....I'm picky, actually I'm picky about everything....yet we will see, we get along great and absolutely NO love interest and we both made that clear, defiantly my brotha....memorizing is really going to be hard as I get deeper into my lessons....even though the books I read are in depth of history and info and I can get through those, the lessons should be straight...just finished reading Che Guevara...so digging dude, why is it always a problem when you stick up for what is right and exact....never take anything on face value, always do your own research.

I cant stand dealing with the issue of race, we are universal yet you want me to fill out a census, why? what is the need? i guess you coming to the crib,and get ready i gotta alot of questions before you start asking me any:, when it is addressed to me, and i give my answer I am a racist?! (smh)what you didn't like my answer?!....i did NOT start this hatred behind skin color....do your damn history, research and I mean beyond slavery, even beyond Jesus..and shhh he was black:) I get called too black or extreme ( i truly laugh my ass off at this)...never understood that, when I asked a very knowledgeable person on this, he said and I quote "peace Queen, too black or extreme are code words for spreading KNOWLEDGE OF SELF and modeling Truth" Bilal Skanofa, you want some serious Truth google this man....the whole thing annoys me, especially when grown ass folks dont know where they come from...Indians are from India, Africans are from Africa...huh????, yes this was truly said to me....I said nothing...this is not someone I could have elevated with...(smh) deaf, dumb and blind..i should have discussed further it is my duty, yet too difficult of person *shrugs shoulders* it is what it is.

pearls are so classy!!

I like feeling the breeze on my face at this season with the sun shining, absorbing all the vitamin D.....just not in a damn turtleneck..lol..

I love psychiatry, now that I am really paying attention too what is going on around me, I love it...and for my fans that I hear are avid readers...I AM SOOOO NOT BIPOLAR!...maybe OCD (over compulsive disorder)yet in a good way...what is wrong with being organized and clean?!

Trying to get out of wearing black...well right now I need it, did I mention im in fat mode right now....I love to cook and eat!!!!, and Im real good at it too, if I must say so;)....mental note have to fast soon!!!!

I love where I work at, really I do!

I LOVE Master Equality!!!!! (me)

always been a very hard working woman, I like that about me.

i love being a mother to three teenagers.....i just don't like being in the truck with them all at once....they talk to much;)...and their music selection SUCKS!!!!, yet they know old school....proud mama on that....music is a release, they gonna need that.....it can be tuff out here....I love my babies, and will forever be my babies (yeah im tearing, if you follow you know im the biggest crybaby), even though they are all about to pass me in height..they are my babies...their growth to me is just so amazing...they each have their own style, own individualism which i promote heavily...

The ex God gotta a FB...(rotflmao), he was telling me and my oldest seed he has like a 100 friends, we both laughed, better catch up, we know you got more out there..lol..lol very nice to see his growth as well, from afar ofcourse...he just got into a really bad motorcycle accident..went and saw him and he is just road burned up, im so glad we are friends now...willing all the positive energy to him.

I am single with three beautiful daughters...that is all you need to know, alot say I need to get out there, get out there for what, I have heavy morals and I am NOT changing that shit now for some divine i cee king (you figure it out)the same before 120 and during and will after...ssshhhhh....my ex-husband went out of his way to get my attention, do you honestly think Ill settle for anything less than? (hands on hip)...lol...yeah I tend to be a bad ass..lol...anywho......well I will leave you all as I always come in peace and with some words from the Dalai Lama........

YOU CAN DEVELOP PATIENCE AND CHANGE YOUR ATTITUDES WITH CONTINUOUS PRACTICE - THE HUMAN MIND HAS SUCH POTENTIAL. Dalai Lama

Peace
((hugs))

Transition

2010-04-07T19:45:00.000-04:00

Transition - change, often major - passage from one position, condition, etc., to another

Peaceeeeee, whats good, been a minute or I should say a long ass minute;)...raising three daughters aint no joke:)

Its natural , every second that the earth makes movement there is a transition (change) going on..the wind blowing against the trees providing O2 and moisture to continue growth, while the soil, even in this cold making movement to nurture the roots of the tree..you get me:), as in our natural universe, all this happens in our daily lives our LIFE.

Transitioning to girls to preteen, teenager and young woman is metamorphosing right in front of me. I'm in awe, being an only child and watching my three daughters bond and have their individual relationships with each their is defiantly something I am incredibly proud of. My transitions of being a wife to a singe mother have had its ups and downs, yet I have grown from every movement from every moment that has/is been made, like a Caterpillar......this butterfly is sure to fly soon;)

Transitioning is so a part of life, without change there is NO growth, and I'm all for the growth, just like when its time to do your garden or yard you have to transition the dirt, add new dirt, water, new seeds or the left overs from the year before, yet nurturing what is left to come back new, you feel me;)I am in a good place to date, took a minute yet perfection does not happen over night, knowledging self is a LIFE LONG journey.

So I'm sure those that read are curious to know whats up with the GOD, well the God is my friend and couldn't dislike him even if I wanted to. He gave me this light that I now bestow on to my seeds so he will forever have my respect and love, yet I really don't know what I was thinking or was I? He is good I guess, same jail story as the common next struggling to find a job and frustrated, trying to give him back what he has given me unfortunately it maybe falling on deaf ears, yet always willing him the best. He laughs all the time at me, when I confide to him on whats going on in my life and then has to bring me back to my square, I do laugh to myself, wise he is, just don't understand how HE cant bring that wisdom forth, may not be for me to understand *shrugs shoulders* in time.

I am striving to continue with blogging it helps. I do in my blackberry and then clean it up on here, ya'll don't need to know everything..lol..lol..

Willing all is peace ((hugs)) and will continue and encourage you to join myself and my girls (they will soon be blogging) on this journey of life that we go through, willing that maybe some of my experiences could be enlightening to you. PEACE!

IM BACK!!!!!!

2009-06-30T04:41:00.001-04:00

PEACE

I build all that read and everyone in your ciphers are striving for great health and self happiness!!! PEACE

Some time as passed...currents have continued to pull and at times be at a calm.

Up to date: The God (shaking my head)it did not work, as majority have been through a bond..hardest thing is having a relationship with someone and just not gettin the understanding...no ill feelings at all..tho....heartbroken and my first (way to old for that)..I have taken the best part, and continue to rotate...(as Earth does;), and who knows...our paths may end into one.

Completly fell of with the lessons and understand now, and back to studying and reading like a damn fien, and feeling the healing begin.

The Girls: the knowledge seed (without puttin her business on blast) growing pains, and wandering the earth for an answer..time right now and leading by example, the wisdom seed growing up way to fast and its disturbing to watch, when I am the only one really ceeing, the relationship between her father and I is strained, which is causing more problems in raising the young Queen as she completly takes advantage and the famous playing of both sides, as I have tried to reach out and communicate to think we had an understanding only to cee that my words and my showing and proving of incidents fall on deaf ears, its bad and im not sure what to do preteens (shaking my head) does it have to take a terrible incident for him to open his eyes as well as hers..very strong willed, bright young lady...again leading by example, and the baby....hard keeping her a kid, our society is so based on technology its crazy, what happened to just rideing your bike and just be in the neighborhood...continue to just let her be outside, more learning going on out there if you watch;)...this article was going to be titled GROWING PAINS, because that is the stage we are at (the earths are shifting)...18, 12, 10..whooooh...not grey yet, its comeing though...lol...

TURNING POINT:
Back to rollin dolo...back out the house, and been in it for a minute. So I went to my first Show and Prove...rolled down 95 to Mecca (harlem) me, my beats and ofcourse my equality;)...prior to that was in Manhatten elevating with my sistas and enjoying Washington Square....(those who know me,know the city is truly my love, Im a straight surbanite from birth, and honestly gettin tired of the noncultureness im surrounding myself and my earths around...rambling another blog;).....Im gettin out the house..so rolled to the Mecca..so peaceful so inspireing. Its hard when you really grasp reality and be surrounded by others that do not cee, a sister of mine said almost a year ago, 'Alone b.u.t Never lonely'...I understand..even when alone, when you can cee a clear picture and NOT what you want to cee, it makes everything much less complicated.

As I will do my best to communicate and vent our lives continue to rotate at the speed of 1,037 and a 1/3 miles per hour.

PEACE

2009-02-12T09:31:00.005-05:00

PEACE...this is a repost from 'My Black America' on myspace. The God and I have been haveing this same discussion as of late, a comment this article stated is that Black History IS American History, just because we have a black president (bi-racial to be right and exact)still has not given us the equality, shoot he even said so himself. My understanding is you cannot change peoples way of thought when certain things have been embedded in us since the beginning of time to suit self then as to know the difference of what is right and what is just wrong, b.u.t you can have an understanding of self. PEACE (a universal greeting)

The Childish Debate Over Black History Month

New America Media, Commentary
Earl Ofari Hutchinson, Posted: Feb 10, 2009

It seemed ludicrous when several black scholars proposed that Black History Month be eliminated. The proposal got a lot of tongues wagging on Web sites, in chat rooms and e-blasts. The debate even stirred up enough controversy to get some ink from AP.

The good professors reasoned that Black History Month is an anachronism that fuels racial ill will, discord and just plain jealousy. It isn’t needed anyway, they argued, since black accomplishments are generally recognized by nearly everyone in society. The election of Barack Obama supposedly was final proof that black America's accomplishments are known, accepted, and even admired by most.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

Even Obama in his Feb. 2 declaration on Black History Month virtually implored educators, businesses and politicians to do more to make black history an integral part of everyone's celebrations, and not just a black celebration by and for blacks. That won't be easy either.

Most Americans’ knowledge of the historical contributions of blacks still begins and ends with Martin Luther King, Jr. and Malcolm X, and even they are nothing more than names.   Many adults still don't know that African Americans played a major part in shaping America's institutions.

Black inventors, explorers, scientists, architects, and trade unionists helped construct the foundation of American industry. Black abolitionists, religious and civil rights leaders helped shape law, politics and religion in America. Black artists, writers and musicians gave America some of its most distinctive cultural art forms.

The modern day civil rights movement not only broke down the legal barriers of segregation; it also opened the door of opportunity in government, business and at academic institutions for the poor, and minorities as well as many white women, and men.

The cruel irony is that Black History Month still has done little to make most Americans aware of this.   Eighty-three years ago, when pioneer black historian and educator Carter G. Woodson initiated what he called Negro History Week, he wanted to rescue black people's accomplishments from the netherworld of American history and the shroud of slavery and make those accomplishments a source of pride for all Americans. He succeeded and failed. Black History Month is indeed an established tradition. Politicians designate special days, issue proclamations, and sponsor tributes to notable blacks during the month. TV networks shove in most of their specials, documentaries and features on blacks. When February ends, it's back to business as usual and black achievements virtually vanish from the screen, the concert halls, and the speeches of politicians.
  

The obvious solution to this disappearing act is to make sure black contributions to American society are celebrated every month.

But since this isn't done, many blacks scream racism. They are partly right. Many Americans are over weaned on white heroes. The crusade against slavery was led by Abraham Lincoln not Frederick Douglass. The great American novel was written by John Steinbeck not Richard Wright. The king of swat in baseball is still Babe Ruth not Hank Aaron, and certainly not the much reviled Barry Bonds. The most renowned American composer is George Gershwin not Duke Ellington.
 

Yet pointing the finger at racism for America's failure to recognize black contributions is much too easy. The painful truth is that many black historians and educators made a big error during their push for black studies courses during the 1960s, and in the years after. They failed to tell how the black experience has enriched the lives of all Americans. Black history was jammed into a tiny cubicle labeled "for blacks only." It was treated by many academics and textbook writers as little more than a sidenote to the "real" history of America. When the furor over equality died down and the assault against black studies and later multicultural studies began with a vengeance in the 1990s, these courses were knocked away like bowling pins.
  

Here's the way to end the racist white-out and the exaggerations by some blacks of black contributions to history. Publishers should revise all classroom texts that pigeonhole black achievements into a single chapter such as slavery, civil rights or jazz, and include them in all chapters. School administrators and teachers should make sure that black achievements are laced throughout the curriculum from science and technology to the humanities. Politicians and public officials should commemorate black achievements in ceremonies throughout the whole year. Corporations should regularly feature black achievements in their advertising and promotional materials.

When the experience of blacks is accepted as part of all of American society, black history will be what it is and always should have been, and that's American history. There shouldn't be any debate about that.

NAM contributing editor Earl Ofari Hutchinson is an author and political analyst. His new book is “How Obama Won” (Middle Passage Press, January 2009).

http://news. newamericamedia. org/news/view_article. html?article_id=d817bdde9212f16811461c4a6d19275b

1989

2009-02-05T23:14:00.003-05:00

Peace...lol..lol..so here is my highschool yearbook graduation picture....funny, huh....almost 20 years ago....anywho posted this as tommorrow is Bob's bday....I have been an avid fan as I had listened to Bob since I was a very young child...my umi is Trinidadian so with soco came the reggea.....I always knew what this man stood for and what his path in life was for, never expressed it, growing up in Old Saybrook....well not to be offensive, the kids I grew up with never had to feel like eyes were on them just too see if they were stealing.....and shit....I did not need to steal...anywho...wanted too post this as I was rocking with the earth's this evening and the youngest brought the yearbook out just skimming through it and found this...lol..lol..more so for the quote...still believe in it as I did then.
Peace

5%'s are racist....

2009-01-08T17:31:00.012-05:00

DISCLAIMER
Allah's Nation, The Nation of Gods and Earths, is NOT A HATE GROUP, GANG, OR RELIGION. We are NOT ANTI-WHITE OR PRO BLACK, we are ANTI-DEVILISHMENT AND PRO-RIGHTEOUSNESS. We recognize the the OPPORTUNITY AND CHANCE of everyone from the Human Families of the Planet Earth to make a positive contribution to CIVILIZATION regardless of their ethnicity.

Peace,

I will all is well with all. So did I get your attention, lol..lol..well I have had a few folks in my cipher ask me if part of me getting knowledge, does this seclude white folks..(obviously God's light is reflecting as the questions and the phone calls have been heavy;)...well ofcourse not, if anything in my opinion, and if I am going to separate I think more caucasian's should get to know self that way they have a better understanding of a whole lot of things, now trust when I tell you this does not exclude black folks either or any other race. Well a couple of days later my girls came home and I was elevating with the wisdom moon and she says that her father said that to be 'a 5% you have to hate white people, and that it is originated in jail and its a gang', and wasent too sure of this and wanted to know. I was actually kinda of shocked he thought that but then again as of late with him nothing surprises me, if you just dont know something people tend to just say anything and have no base or actual fact to back up their statement or what they think they know. Well glad the wisdom seed wanted to elevate with the father on this and what she knew, she said she was trying to explain but ofcourse he cut her off and said whatever...typical. So ofcourse this was a lesson I had to go over with the girls so I knew that they had the understanding and understood, why knowledge is important and that, no we are not racist. So to my readers I will give you a short synopsis on this, as this is what I do, to teach to make the understanding understood. First off Clarence 13X changed his named to Allah and found out that being in the N.O.I (nation of islam) that the original man, the blackman was the supreme being, God, now supreme means the most highest being to exist, and if you look up God it states the highest being (im not going to get into the religion aspect of that, that will be for another blog). Now as for it originating in the belly (prison) non-cipher. When the father (ALLAH) went to Mattawan (a subdivision of Bellevue Hospital) it was to sepearate him as he was teaching the math to folks up there and the higher ups (ofcourse) were not feeling this. So this I will presume why some feel that this originated in jail....now why it is so commom for incarcerated folks to have knowledge, well any of us who has not been to jail can see why....DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH STUDYING AND READING AND TIME IT TAKES TO KNOW SELF!, pshhhhhh, no joke, jail is a good place to have that time to look at self, (again no joke, trust I am down for my people on lock) try jungling, 3 kids, a job, a home, and just life to want to take in all this infinite knowledge that is out there, and have time for sleep. Now the racist issue....now science originates the original man to be the black man, so how I see it we are all at some point linked up to this gene, ofcourse as time went on we got separated some went to the causcous mountains and some of us didnt. So how is this being a racist?, well we are not, now when you do the history as I see it all folks of color did some real nasty shit to humans, so I am not going to say it was just white folks. So there you go hopefully I was right and exact missing a few things, b.u.t if your curious well research and learn shoot it cant hurt you, you WILL gain something.

Now for my besties, (as these kids call it, my friends for us old folks, lol), I found this youtube video well actually I did not find it I had seen it and had the girls watch it so they can understand that knowledge of self is not about color and to stress that, so good look Saladin, you and amongst others are teaching us to a better understanding so we can be understood;)

PEACE

wisdom cipher cipher born

2009-01-04T17:21:00.007-05:00

Peace all....Hope each and everyone had a wonderful new year and ready for the upcoming year with nothing but peace and love;) a couple of things....its been a while, have not had the mind set to write lately, really just be building with the girls and ensuring they have a strong foundation, and learning to make knowledge born;)....funny thing....found all ipods that were mysteriously gone, mine was at the nail spot (yeah I can be a little airheadish, lol) and the wisdom seed found hers upstairs behind a box??....anyways all found and the Knowledge seed as one as well, so we are all back up and running with our music...lol..lol...

....the young ladies are getting big, enjoying every second with them right now, its going by fast...just got our passports (such a long damn process) so we are ready for anything:).....the GOD..........aaaaaaaaaaaa....coming home in less then equality cipher days....so excited.......still and forever a work in progress and we are all showing and proving....ofcourse we have are fumbles, b.u.t we get up brush it off and keep it moving with a smile and two fingers:)...well big year the oldest is graduating (well hopefully)....the wisdom child will be knowledge wisdom this month....the girls are getting big.....
PEACE

wisdom culture/freedom

2008-12-24T13:15:00.008-05:00

Peace
...well ofcourse like I have said in the past it has to be even is this house so this blog is on my oldest. She is knowledge build/destroy today!

....power days after I turned wisdom cipher the earth and I are on the way to the hospital...the night before I was ill as shit I was throwing up like a dog, I was at the sperm donors home and had eaten pork based in nothing but all (wondering why I was so sick, mhm)oil....i was ill..it continued on to the next day i could not take it anymore I had to go to the hospital I did not think I was in labor b.u.t
obviously what the hell did I know, I just turned 20. I go to the sperm donors house (that is what he is referred to, dumb ass didnt even call to wish Ash happy bday, fucker)let him know im going to the hospital and took off....Yeah, I and still to this day roll on my own (shit whoelse can you trust)..now saybrook to middletown is about a 15 min drive (well when I am driveing, lol), this ride took me 45 min....forever, now as I am driving going through all this crazy pain in my back and in my chest I am thinking it is gas (remember I am a fresh 20 year old, and really dont know shit). I get to the hospital and go into the emergency...well they dont believe I am even over 18, in so much pain I laid on the ground and told the cop he had to go get my license out the car, shit them gas bubbles (so I think) were getting harder......finally we establish I am over 18 so ofcourse they get me in shoot me up with demoral to slow down the contractions (yeah I waa in full blown labor)and get me settled then they would break my water the whole time, bugging that I was my age 20......wont go into the whole labor and there after....born universal truth homegirl arrived! Ashley Doloras, I did not name here she actually was supposed to be Bianca...lol..lol..

PEACE

OREO REHAB

2008-12-06T16:16:00.001-05:00

Peace

..well in my home everything has to be equal (funny huh, even before I got knowledge), so this one is about my understanding seed (and that she is). She is my junk food junkie kid, took me forever to finally get her to eat vegetables and at present spinach is it and collard greens, any who she loves these cookies White Fudge covered Oreos, discovered them about a year ago at Sam's (this bulk shopping spot), and now some grocery stores carry them but not too often. So this morning before school the earth and I went grocery shopping, had to go get these damn cookies, had been asking me all week, so we go. We get in the truck, she ofcourse needs them for her 'snack' (she is a snacker), I told her to take 4 they come in sections of 3 with 4 in each section, so I think she did this, lol..lol..(yeah i know you all are laughing).....sooo...I drop the Queen off too school go home to put the groceries away I cee she had taken 8!, surprising...comes home from school and finishes the box...lol..lol..my mama, I tell her she needs to go to Oreo rehab and states, 'oh yeah, she want 10 boxes for Christmas', and ofcourse her umi will accommodate. Oreo rehab you think A&E will add that to their line up on Intervention lmao!

Peace

Queen Wisdom Born Understanding

2008-12-03T20:55:00.010-05:00

Peace

...a big month in my home, my born day and my eldest born day and she will be knowledge build on christmas eve, and we have christmas, yes, even having knowledge and knowing there is no mystery we still celebrate christmas, b.u.t by next year we will be traveling the world;).... anywho I am doing this blog due to the wisdom child. She had to write a poem for school, a guess the title came from something but the poem itself is hers, and I am so proud...so without delay here it is...

TIME SOMEBODY TOLD ME

Time Somebody Told Me
That I wasn't so loud,
But acted very proud

Time Somebody Told Me
That I was full of wisdom
And always wanted to listen

Time Somebody Told Me
That I wasn't so bland
And liked me for who I am

Time Somebody Told Me
That I am loaded with grace
And could go through lifes maze

Time Somebody Told Me
Because I will not tell myself

by Chante J. Davis

....ofcourse, tears in my eyes (established I am a huge crybaby), she would like for me to add that it really was not a big deal (typical kid),and that she despises to write (she used the word hate, b.u.t knows that word makes me cringe) period.

I am proud ofcourse, I have drawers of work from ALL my children. My Queens have knowledge, they always do the 1 and make simple, they definalty don't add in all the extra, and give me so much understanding on a daily basis, love them!

PEACE

acceptance

2008-12-02T23:19:00.003-05:00

Peace, I have been building on this for a bit, asking different folks on how they cee acceptance.

1. the act of taking or receiving something offered.
2. favorable reception; approval; favor.
3. the act of assenting or believing: acceptance of a theory.
4. the fact or state of being accepted or acceptable.
5. acceptation (def. 1).
6. Commerce. a. an engagement to pay an order, draft, or bill of exchange when it becomes due, as by the person on whom it is drawn.
b. an order, draft, etc., that a person or bank has accepted as calling for payment and has thus promised to pay

...my thoughts, lol well...accepting, acceptance of others, and their ways or actions, is it right and exact for you? we are all raised with different morals and values, but I think its so much more than just those things. Friends and family can believe in one thing and you may believe in another, well do you accept them for their ways? Acceptance is very important in any relationship, can you accept those in your immediate cipher for what their beliefs are, especially if they are the opposite of yours? Think about it....there is at least one in your cipher whose opinion is just outlandish, b.u.t. do you accept, does it change your opinion on this person or yourself, (good opportunity to examine self), I personally do not find it hard, if its not fitting me its just not....what I find hard is for people, my cipher to accept me, especially, now.....I guess I am to honest, wise words said to me "Queen, you don't apply the wisdom, you may know it but your application skills are a little shabby", I agree, I'm quick with everything, reactive so too say....one of the many things that I work on....what I do understand that when you deal with folks outside of your understanding, you can not change them, I had an INCREDIBLE build today, and a God said its wisdom to know the difference between the things u can and cannot change....true indeed....there is alot I accept within my cipher, its just showing and proving the acceptance....I am a reactive, especially if I feel that I am being portrayed out of character, b.u.t is it out of character, if I am reacting? I have had to pick and choose my battles for quit some time and I continue to do so, by accepting certain situations that I know will NEVER change.....acceptance. damn, life aint no dam joke;)

Peace

VEXED!!!!

2008-11-26T14:43:00.007-05:00

...my girls are INCREDIBLY spoiled....okay another damn IPOD gone! the knowledge child put the wisdom's child on the charger for it to charge (charger meaning the desktop computer), I ceen it, rarely do I go on the desktop (its in the basement, under renovations)so I was happy to cee the damn thing.. well, now its gone, went too shut all the computer stuff this morning (computer acting funny), saw that it was gone...figured the knowledge kid took it to school (sidebar: she knows not to touch it she has her own plus a Zune, mental note to let her know)...well she did not have it.....tell me how does it just disappear, I was up ALL night (been building heavily) and I mean till about 4am, gone.....I am just pissed off about it....1, the oldest should not have touched it its not hers 2, the middle kid NEEDS to be more aware of her things 3, IM VEXED, how the fuck does it just disappear.
....aaaaaaghhhhh...I cannot stress enough to these girls to do the 1 to EVERYTHING in life, be aware of the smallest things, DO THE KNOWLEDGE, I am so pissed, where the hell did it disappear?, well needless to say she wont be getting another one at least not from me, shoot I dont even have one, and out of all in my cipher, I have the passion for music........VEXED!

MMMMUUUAAAAHHHHH

2008-11-19T08:44:00.003-05:00

The reason people hate you..is to validate their OWN failure -
Talaam Acey

knowledge build/destroy

2008-11-18T17:58:00.005-05:00

Peace

Today's science is knowledge build/destroy. Knowledge is the accumulation of facts thru observing, listening, and respecting. It is the foundation of all in existence, it must be 'known' in order to manifest. Build/destroy is to elevate the mentality of self and others around self, (you). To add-on positive energy to destroy the negative.

How I cee it....in order for me to possibly be able to build on the positive of life I must sit back and watch. I do that every second I can, no matter what cipher I am in, at school with the girls, watching people in my neighborhood, grocery store , everywhere...ya dig....interesting what I cee and hear as I watch and this of course includes the earth's, their ways, actions, what they talk about the stories they tell, (sidetracking again, lol, lol). I enjoy listening building them up is always a beautiful thing. Teaching them to cee thing in a more positive light and building up only the positive completely negates the negative. Our society is already built on nothing but lies, and negative aspirations that are fooled into positiveness, (a savage for the superficial happiness), convincing us that we need all of that to be happy. (ofcourse I will be the first to say I am guilty of this). Myself showing the earth's the little things as well as myself really is not all that bad.

I was building with the God, and as always nothing but postive words comes out of his mouth 'hey beautiful' asked how everything was...me....'no choice but to be positive', him ' well you start to be negative, and whoa is me, its all down hill"....he is right, I stay on the postive tip (I try), I smile even getting mean mugged at (yeah I got another mean mugger, lol lol), I listen to all and give them the truth as I cee it. It's a process ....showing and proving to self is where it starts and those in the cipher will reflect...trust they will...my word is bond on that! MY GIRLS...huh, they are wonderful!!! Every second I am with them I absorb everything....its about the babies and they are the best part.

Peace to all that connect with this and I....Queen Eternal Earth build EACH and everyone of you take in all the beauty that life has to offer you, especially if you have children.

Peace

This is for the Queens in my home that have me stay on my square so strongly and so proudly!

....you are the beat that makes my heart......(of course I am crying damn it!!!)

The reason we have two ears and only one mouth, is that we may hear more and speak less.....by Zeno

the first

2008-11-04T23:15:00.006-05:00

understanding knowledge..

...this whole election is just all so crazy to me......something I have always said is that this country, is a sophisticated segregation. We are separate, now this is not something I chose, or have chosen it is what it is, and its not something I care for either. My inner cipher is colored folk (white) and love them all to the end there is no color. I grew up in a white town, I graduated with 4 other blacks (listen I am not going to be technical with this blog, I'm just tired) out of 98 kids. I was reading on a Journal of Allah's Five Percent (http://allahsfivepercent.blogspot.com/), and the blog on 'Don't try to be "equal"'....it has truly been in my brain as of late, and to me very scary. This is in present day and this particular YouTube video the folks are right in Ohio, now I have driven there and its about 6-8 hours, which is even more disturbing to me ( as if I don't know this shit don't happen right in my backyard). People wake the fuck up, now I am not saying don't roll with white folks, not at all, but don't underestimate some and this includes ALL races, yeah I said it.....In my life I have been hated by my own (mostly women). It appalls me (and probably forever will) that if white folks can 'still' get on a camera and be as indignant as they want over the color of someones skin!, then when a black person says something it will be a HUGE uproar.....I am so disturbed by that video (can you tell), but I will have so many tell me including my children "Ma!, your being racist!, I don't think me speaking on white people is being racist now if I am derogatory than let me know something, I only speak on what I know, and the transition from Old Saybrook to Meriden was defiantly not a white thing. This separation shit, I am educating my girls on this, the wisdom child believes there is no type of separation, and we always debate on this (she is highly intelligent for her age, and her vocabulary is sick:), and the election is how I use it for an example race and gender.

culture/freedom

OMGoodness....i am crying uncontrollably right now (remember I am a HUGE crybaby:), FOR so many different reasons...change...change...the color of someones skin...to prove so many points that I have had over so many years...a text that was sent to me just now...."THEY DID NOT WANT TO GIVE US 40 ARES AND A MULE SO DAMMIT WE WILL TAKE 50 TAKES STATES AND A WHITE HOUSE"....my pops (always thinking about him), who grew up in segregation....my gosh we have a black president (to be right and exact a biracial president), something he would have been so honored to cee. My girls (yes we ALL know they are my beat that makes my heart) to see such an historically event (and trust they know), my wisdom seed called at the knowledge knowledge hour to let me know.......did i ever mention how i just adore my children?!....her first question 'are you crying?', girl of course!.....SO MANY REASONS!!!!, b.u.t why ultimately does this have to do with the color of ones skin?......thank are fore fathers for this...the Mayflower folks that so non shalantly STOLE this country and slaughtered the Indians with the 'colored folks' fire water and their knitting their blankets with disease....so many reason.....WE NEED CHANGE!!!!, know that this is not going to be overnight, RACISM will not stop till we ALL stand up!!!! I am happy b.u.t I am more worried.........as if your not either..the first black president.

Peace

wisdom god abbt born

2008-10-27T20:16:00.002-04:00

Peace

Well today is the day my pops died, 15 years ago on this date.....crazy, I can, by minute tell you how that night went down......Anyways has been a long road on that. Death is nothing easy, even though its the only thing guaranteed in life, you are born to die, plan and simple. My dad died of cirrhosis of the liver, he was a functional alcoholic. My mother and I wanted for nothing, we lived in a beautiful home in Old Saybrook, my mother did not have to work she just chose to. Life was good, I have no complaints, no bad issues, just a good life. Miss him! The first 10 years was so hard, yes you are guaranteed death b.u.t when it is a love one especially a parent how do you really get over that. My mother was a wreck, she hit menopause that day and I swear has not been right since. I had no one to lean on with this, when I got married in the beginning my ex was comforting, but of course time went on and he was not so comforting more like oh please get over it!, whatever that's my pops....he was alive for my oldest (hence the reason why my mother spoils her rotten), so he spent time with her, the other two did not get the honor and let me tell you if they did, mhm he would have loved their asses up, he loved little girls, he said when I had Ash at least she wont rough you up. My dad had 5 other children and 2 were boys, another story for another time. Normally I would be a wreck on this day, but time does heal, might have been alot of time, lol, lol but it does. This time of year is usually not a good time with the holidays, with everything that had happen in 93, all the celebration stopped my dad was like that main guy and everyone came around, when he went back to his essence that what it....so spent alot of time alone during the holidays till I got married and started having a family. Now that is no longer I am not to upset with that, last year and the year before were rough b.u.t this year will be good. Have already started planning and the girls are getting bigger so by next year we will be traveling for Christmas, shoot they have everything already, I mean Zo made out already for her born day, two parties, a phone (from her pops), a pair of UGGS (and homegirl gots a big ol foot)and another IPOD.....what is left to buy....spoiled ass girls, the father and I wont speak b.u.t no shorts are cut when it comes to the girls! Anyways knowledge power years since the death of my pops and I am okay, and I mean okay inside, miss him dearly of course b.u.t I am okay, I did speak with the lady today (my mother) I did not mention what it was today, she would have just got into a tizzy on why I would remember this day, shoot I counted...the phone rang 35 times before I decided to pick it up, I knew what the phone call was, how could I forget this day. She is still the same just a miserable lady (love her to death she is who she is)so we talked or actually I listened to her yell for a few and ended the conversation, did not need all that negativity. All in all it was a good day. The God was supposed to be out today but dealing with DOC nothing is ever on time, b.u.t got clarity on some things and we are ON and POPPING!!!, so soon, soooooo soon.....MIss my pops.......

Peace

HONESTY....

2008-10-23T08:31:00.002-04:00

..always be honest....My ex wrote this in our daughter's planner (the understanding child), and to add on to that I wrote even if it hurts. Through my life changing experience, this of course came into play quite a bit. It sucks....who wants to hurt the other person by being honest? b.u.t in a weird way it truly helps the person who IS being honest. It helped me! When one of the last texts between my ex and I was just about that....alot of shit I wrote that needed to be written, which comes to one of the many reasons we don't even speak, lol..lol...he be mean mugging me lol..lol..I laugh, sad but it is what it is I figure he will open his mouth when he is ready. Honesty, I was not very honest during our divorce, how could I?, he adored me in every way.....but I was not there....it came to a head, I felt better when I FINALLY was and him well....again he still be mean mugging me. Honesty....the earth's think I am way to blunt now (since knowledge), I don't think it is being blunt...These days its more about right from wrong.....not a hard concept...so we think, b.u.t is. With kids, as well as adults. Woke up this morning with this whole honesty thing....wondering if there is something I still need to be honest with...mmmmmmmm
Peace

...sighing........

2008-10-14T22:16:00.009-04:00

Peace

...the economy which we all know it right now is insane. some much shit on my brain...a statement that was mad to me about a week ago...you will be alone in this (meaning finding knowledge) but you will not be lonely.....

.....each day is a new day for me and aware of everything,its getting real hard to listen to the whining and the I cant's. ceeing shit for what it is, is just that. It is no secret to anyone who knows me knows my situation (as if we all don't have them, mhm)..I have a home (by the skin of my fucking teeth, mind you), a truck (no car payment:), three kids (and ALL that comes with it), and the real kicker, I get a $100 a week for child support and rearrange for understanding months of $20, the plus though with that he does get them half the time. Everything previous the child support I got on my own not a penny from the ex so how I cee it, its mine, and that is right and exact (plus the car he was driving, my mother paid for)..anyways getting off of what I want to write about....finding knowledge in the beginning was all peace (and still is), b.u.t now ceeing folks through my eye is well.......nuts.....shit that is right there showing and proving to you....well how do you cee it in another way?, and folks who I THOUGHT had some type of common sense......nuts.....as each minute goes by I am more secure in who I am, and more confident on raising my original earths to be that.....my mom never, ever talked about anything, I pretty much learned the fundamentals from horrific mistakes, which could have been somewhat avoided with just a little bit of guidance......I am honest with my girls, of course age appropriate, the knowledge god child well nothing I will hold back and I mean nothing.....my situations, and how I handle them will only be shown upon them....example....yeah I swear like a fucking truck driver :)...well should it be a surprise that behind my back unless caught they all swear as well.....my whole point is that when situations get real rough with kids, spouses, exes, friends, ect.ect...is merely a reflection of ones self.....which can be fixed.....my best girlfriend is going through some shit (like us all), we were aiming (AIM) earlier just building on life and our situations (which of course was helping me) and she said I am confused (something I would say, especially through my divorce) and replied your not confused your having a weak moment.....you have to reevaluate look within, and ask yourself why am I feeling this way what got me here, ect. ect.. (you know)....not an easy task at all...looking at self with a 10x magnifying glass (do they even make that power lol) and admitting ones false to self is hard....me was hard incredibly hard....I broke my ex's heart, (he now would proably say different but its what it was) no intention, shoot 10, 11 years is a long ass time, coming to grips with that was mad difficult I am not that person (i never say no to anything, i am a pleaser) I had to examine it of course for self and move on.....as we are aiming (wish i could copy and paste it, I really shocked myself:) never did I mention it would be better at least not now, tomorrow or even next month, but that it would be a grueling process that had to be done for the benefit of her seed....its amazing we put our kids through when always worried about self's feelings, don't get me wrong, I am a guilty party in this and strive everyday to correct it....when I cee the girls fight and I mean Ali and Frasier going it at it with some much hate, it sickens me, its looking at me and the father but just much younger and not as stubborn, I mentioned this to my homie and let her know it can be fixed...funny now (don't get be wrong we still have boxing, wrestling matches up in here, lol.lol), everything is 'Peace Earth, or Peace Queen, I gotcha my sista, and lots n lots of hugs and kisses (I love hugging!!!)why.....changed the way I handled things, (obviously divorce:) spoke differently, and the MATH. I am so proud that I found knowledge, more so on how he came....the God never came of as anything but Roy D****** (hates when I call him his government) someone who had been through so much and just new everything.....when I came across the math and started heavily researching and reading, it all made so much sense to me, ( I mean I still have my emotional tirades, but its all a work in progress right:)...all the talking we were doing over the year, shooot we were building...lol..lol..and it was a rap......its almost like a wonderful pair of shoes that fit perfect (my favs Marc Jacobs, yeah I dont eat meat, betcha Ill wear it, lol), even though they are 3 1/2 inches high they fit beautifully, with ease walking easy not missing a beat, the math it works, being easy, works....my homegirl.....it will work, its a work in progress....it takes time, but (the God's favorite saying) just "be easy Ma", lol lol...one thing I am learning (not mastered) is the past is the past even if it was a minute ago its done, over nothing you can do about it, just learn from it and keep elevating.

Peace

....interesting....

2008-10-07T21:41:00.004-04:00

"Examine me o Lord- try my reigns and my heart,I do not sit with deceitful men, nor do I entertain hypocrites;I have hated the assembly of evildoers, and I REFUSE to sit with the wicked"

......lol..lol...I have to laugh,,,personal reasons....tell me how you cee this quote, just the quote you don't have to distinguish your beliefs on anything else but this quote...

....always PEACE!

...reposted from myspace...just wanted to cee how all cees this....trying to get the understanding on this....

Peace

understanding

2008-10-03T07:43:00.002-04:00

Peace

Understanding is what shows and proves the completion of knowledge and wisdom. It is a clear mental comprehension. The highest form of understanding is love.

In the 3rd degree in the 1-26, c, cee or see, to see is to have insight, to comprehend through the mind's eye; to see is to have insight to see through the physical, to understand.

I cee today's science as the best part in my life I have understanding children that I learn from on a daily basis, to understand is to cee everything for what it is, nothing more nothing less. Knowing this to me is the sign of elevation within, ceeing life through my third relieves stress, I don't what ifs, or why....looking for more than what is in front of me is nothing but confusion, again if its blue its blue. It does take time to get to the best part...understanding.

Peace

HIP-HOP

2008-10-01T22:44:00.007-04:00

Peace...

...this topic brings tears too my eyes...the TRUE history....so what was your first album that you bought?... mine that my mom bought (i had no job) was run dmc's first joint...my uncle in Stamford worked at Atlantic Records in the city so ofcource I had the sugar hill gang. Now living in Old Saybrook (google it), this music was far from popular especially in that time (in the 80's, yeah I'm getting up there)...but rocked it in my pop's stereo, you know the one that had the 8 track in it, (yeah still got it, sitting right behind me)...but my first tape that I had truly falling in love, was N.W.A.....nigga, nigga, nigga, nigga, nigga, nigga, please...lol..lol...my pops smashed the first tape...due to the profanity and back then that was not tolerated, anyways...loved that tape went through 3 tapes of that album......a classic. I think, reflecting all those years ago ( and that was a long ass time) that brought me to me (remember, born and breed in Old Saybrook, listen Katherine Hepburn new my first name, again google it), all they were saying made sense to me even though I was on the opposite of them, original folks would call me rich...lol..lol...far from it...(perception coming in to play AGAIN!), loved them...swore I was moving to Cali and marrying DJ Yella...lol..lmao...lol..never doubted me or my legacy, I guess always trying to prove to folks who I really was...now ceeing things what did I truly have to prove.....anyways....hiphop....now I love all genre's of music...followed The Grateful Dead seen 8 shows, followed CS&N (Crosby, Stills, and Nash), seen Fleetwood Mac, gosh cant even count...anyways you get it....but this album affected me to no end....I realized then how it was...again...shit set in place before you or I were even born...funny, I know my pops had to take some gratification in all of this, he could not relate that I was following The Dead....but could not deal with the profanity.. ( in his drunken state, he was an functional alc0holic)...im my truck I have nothing but old school, my children need to know the basis....1. lord jamar 2 madonna (die hard madonna fan) 3. brand nubian 4. mary 5. talib 6. tribe called quest...it is so important to me that the girls now this...I have always been this way with them....shoot they can pretty much can sing all of "Off the Wall", ...lol..lol...it breaks my heart to cee these kids in this day in age not know where the roots are, especially with music....

I was at a book signing the other night (go C'BS!!) and leaving, I was listening to Brand Nubian and ofcourse, every time you hear a song you hear something new, well Sadat X said something, "hit her with the book" ofcourse I fell out (crazy what you hear in music once you know), so I asked my knowledge seed's boyfriend and his brother, " okay ya'll claim to be hiphop heads, who is the group and who is flowing right now?" ofcourse my seed knows, i tell her to be quite...the other two, no idea. Let them know it was Brand Nubian and it was Sadat that I kept rewinding (lol)...still no clue, I told them when you get home google it. I want all children around me to know what I know (within discretion, ofcourse..lmfao.)...I am very proud MY girls know music and all genres of music, from Led Zepplin to De La Soul, all of it...unfortunately I have not brought to light N.W.A., 1. can't find the CD (which i coped from my ex) and 2. yes the vulgarity (yeah I know they are not angels behind my back, lol.), but soon they will know what turned me out loving me....N.iggas W.it A.ttitude....PEACE

..I could go on forever with hip-hop artist, and have named a few in my CD changer...b.u.t to my fellow west indian....WOOO HAAAAA!!!!!....ya'll feel me....:)

....wow...U.T.F.O......Roxanne, Roxanne....lol..lol...im tellin you I can go on forever...lol...alright im out fo real...PEACE

...what do you do?

2008-09-29T16:52:00.006-04:00

Peace

...what do I do?...I was asked this last night and it kinda stumped me, I will automatically say what it is I do for a living, b.u.t when said, they asked "no what do you do", I said blogging, lol..lol...okay...what the hell is really blogging....I do not write, I do not do poetry, I cant draw (b.u.t the GOD does), I am not artistic at all ( I use to dance, that was many moons ago), well photography...I do take some sick flicks...so what do i do? Well I thought about this all day, and here is what I came up with:
1. I am mother
2. I nurture
3. I am the bank (you would think I had a money in my yard these kids stay asking)
4. I am a housekeeper
5. I am a pool girl
6. I am a jack of all trades....
...I am sure I could go on but I am sure you get the point...I do not like being labeled, being labeled my whole life, I have been labeled, not black enough, not white enough, don't speak slang enough, don't speak colored enough ect. ect. Why can't humans just be....everything is always in a category...well I have come to the understanding that is is what it is. Something that was put into place before myself, even before my own parents were born. It would be a nice place if we could just accept what we cee instead of putting labels and assumptions on what we hear....and we have all fallen victim to that devilish way, I just did.

I work on the inpatient psych floor, there was an incident here in CT, a young man beat the living crap out of his mother, (broke both her arms) had a mental breakdown...well he got arrested and was on the 5th floor of the hospital which is the Dept of Correction floor for ill inmates...well they wanted him on the 1st floor and he came (the father bailed him out)...now when this story was told to me all I imagined was this real tall, big colored person and looking crazy....well.....perception.....he is a very young boy, not the specs you would think....you never know...so what do you do?....does it matter, if we get along and have a vibe off the rif shouldn't that count for something? I have always tried to teach my kids that, being a product of people alwasy assuming Im always scolding them if they annouce something with a negative vibe on someone, you just never know what someone does....PEACE

PHONY

2008-09-26T00:09:00.004-04:00

PHONEY:
1.
not real or genuine; fake; counterfeit: a phony diamond.
2.
false or deceiving; not truthful; concocted: a phony explanation.
3.
insincere or deceitful; affected or pretentious: a phony sales representative. –noun
4.
something that is phony; a counterfeit or fake.
5.
an insincere, pretentious, or deceitful person: He thought my friends were a bunch of phonies.

Have you ever come across these people or a situation? I am sure...well I have, both people and situations, b.u.t never really understood the whole being phony until really doing the 1, from what I understand people who have either run into me or know me in an indirect way say I come off as a straight up bitch, and unapproachable oh and my favorite one im a racist. Well it used to bother me until today. I got the understanding as I was grocery shopping and reflecting on this. I may come off as a bitch, but why...if I meet you and say hello and then I am quiet that puts me as a bitch?, unapproacable...well if your a dude, come on know, I have heard every freaking pick up line you really think I am going to just give you an open door, especially if I have a man, I am loyal, I will politely tell you I have a man. Racist well I just dont understand that...my ride or die girl for over knowledge power years is colored folk, are you serious, my cipher of friends are 95% colored how is that....just because I dont believe in race mixing makes me a racist, that is my opinion, so respect it shoot, all of my friends, family, all are with a different race, and I am happy for them, do you, just not my thing, so again how does that make me a racist.....if you judge me on the color of my skin (which in truth did happen and my first bout of true racism when I was 25 and from my ex's mother, she is colored) well then you have opened the door. Growing up in a very small colored town, was what it was I knew nothing else, yes I have been called a nigger, ect....b.u.t haveing such a strong black father that grew up in segregation, well informed me, when I left Saybrook whooo boy did I get a rude awakeing (okay I think I am getting off track)...anyways....phony....ran into a a real phony ass situation, and back in my uncivilized days I would be upset, angrey and would have started WW3, but now that I sit back and take it all in and analyze the situation, well its not worth it, am I hurt most definatly, people who are phony are those close to you, at least that is my opinion for now. Ill lend my hand to anyone, no questions asked, we all have issues, problems ect....b.u.t not to be upfront and not be truthful well is just crazy...I dont blame the situation or persons anymore its the uncivilized manner we are brought into, which started way before me. Going with the majority, click, family even the media,whomever ,without asking questions well if they say jump of the bridge with me, you going? Knowledge of Self what a beautiful thing......ask the questions, clarify the statements so YOU have a better understanding on what works for you....then phony will not ever be part of a description of who you are....glad that its not in my description, guess ill stick with bitch, unapproachable and racist....lol..lol...PEACE

FOOD

2008-09-23T18:31:00.004-04:00

Peace..I love food, always have. I am not a sweet person never really have been surprisely, my mother is Trinidadian and my Pops (back at his essence) is original, and both had a very heavy sweet tooth, on top of the fact both families had diabeties. Both my grandmother's died of it. I have always been pretty health conscious, I stopped eating meat I believe in 2004, I use to be an Executive Assistant to this wealthy dude and use to have to get all kinds of shit (basicly a high paid slave, a whole another blog)...this one time I had to get all these ribs (beef) ugh...the blood made me nauseous and that was it. So since then no meat, well in my journey things have slowly changed. Ofcourse no swine but that has been longer I am what proper terminology would call pesco-vegetarian, a person who eats fish, shellfish ect....well since getting knowledge, I investigate everything if I have a remote question on,...now I do my own research so I can make my own assesement for me, fish has been hard, all my favorite sea creatures are bottom feeders...sounds disgusting when you put it like that but truth. Catfish (which i no longer eat) was my favorite, grew up on it, my pops would go catch them, a whole cooler full of them and then my mother and I would be on that back porch skinning catfish pliers in hand just getting cut the f**** up. I liked catfish, one day I was frying it up (had a little knowledge on this animal but made my assesment I like catfish always have) and bit in it and OMG grossed out, whatever the reason it was all of a sudden disgusting to me, mad fleshy and just gross......ugh! Now I dont believe it was my research, the catfish ofcourse is a bottom feeder of the sea, it also does not have any pores like the pig, so said the pig of the sea. Now I am not sure learning this went in the back of my mind and that day resurfaced and said ah, dont eat this b.u.t for whatever reason I no longer eat it. As for other shellfish, shrimp, other fish (mahi mahi is my favorite) clams on the half (love them raw...mmmmmm) just to hard to give up right now. I have been trying the whole vegan thing, raw as well ,I like it, b.u.t cheese in another favorite.. I love food, I love, love to cook, and can very well and pretty much anything so I am always trying new things. I ofcourse still cook meat for the girls, and even without tasteing it slamming as ever (so they tell me with empty plates and no leftovers, lol)...love food....I am terrible at desserts, I do try but completly suck at them even in the box, I do give it my all...my dessert that I do make for any kind of party is death by chocalate...known for this, I am told it's f****** banging....too sweet for me. I love food, and like in life up for anything to cook or eat. Peace

..it really is that simple.

2008-09-23T00:09:00.010-04:00

peace....things are god cipher cipher divine! I knew at some point I would make it here, and I am....peaceful. My hair is even growing and is thicker, the curls are flowing.....aaaaa, it feels good. I think back to a year ago and just how EVERYTHING was so incredibly kinectic, getting arrested, restraining orders, still crying everyday, just feeling that everyone was against me, and they were, b.u.t they would never say that, I laugh now. I still have my high ass mortgage, my broke ass truck, all my utility bills and my beautiful girls....nothing at that aspect has changed but me.....I FEEL INCREDIBLE! If is isen't right and exact dont bring it to me because if you do, well....I am breaking it down to its finest, with truth and facts. Divorce, so life altering, never would have thought really, I thought I was that strong that in control. I am now! The funny thing is it was so much more than just the divorce. Being born into an uncivilized world goes before me. Things that go on today are no different than the 50's, 60's or even the 70's, it just much more sophisticated, and the more you educate self on the right and exact will one live a rightous life. Happy, content keeping it simple. Perception is something I am working on (actually I work on about everything thanks to supreme mathematics:), ceeing things for just what they are if its blue its blue (did i write this before, lol) not light blue or dark blue just blue, nothing more, nothing less. I am told crazy things about self and I used to get really upset, now when I am told, "OMG your so not like that", now I breath and drop them some science, well people say dont believe everything you hear or what is said, for real believe that...how can you pass judgement on what someone else thinks...I love the knowledge, when I drop it, its truth and not in a bitchy manner, if its blue its blue, we ALL have opinions you dont have to agree but respect it...just keep it simple, make your own judgements just on that your own, forget what you hear and even what you cee...work on you ten to one the problems you may have are within explore them, not an easy task but well worth the journey....it really is that simple. peace

..just a couple of things

2008-09-17T08:46:00.000-04:00

...today

knowledge god abbt build/destroy
R/Ruler or rule
..will 8 later on this

..alot of information going on around me, realized ...i love smiling, i love the math!
..girls come home today..SO EXCITED!..love them girls...
aaaaaa! finally the episode of Tranquilty...that man writes his ass off...fo real tho!!!
..did i mention the girls come home today...

..got a chance to build with the middle earth..she is sharp...showed me her understanding that this is NOT a religion...her attribute..mmmm, been thinking, Queen Wisdom Born Understanding....maybe?
I CEE THE GOD TODAY!!..culture knowledge days till he comes to the rest!..now, of that aint peace!..always excited to build with the GOD...he is so.....love IS the highest form of understanding, (yeah I am cheesing:)

alot to build on today....

Peace

...does anyone know how to change the time?, i did not post this at no 5:46a.m., not this time anyway, lol...

Knowledge Equality

2008-09-16T11:48:00.000-04:00

Peace

Knowledge is the accumaltion of facts, thru observing, listening and respecting, it is also the foundation of all existence, it must be known in order to make it manifest. Equality is the state or quality of being equal, meaning to deal equally with all in existence.

It is amazing when you apply the math to your life and I mean breath, think, watch, SLOW DOWN, observe..quietly and be easy (the God says this ALL the time:)...how.mmmmmm...I believe peaceful is what I am looking for (its really indescribable)..EVERYTHING is so clear to me. I cee things for what they are and not what I think or want them to be, just the plan old facts..example..I was at work yesterday (as I am everyday) and I came onto the unit and a colleague said 'what's up with the Aunt Jemiya (spelled it wrong) look you got'....I had my crown wearing with with pride ofcourse....now...prior to me getting knowledge I would have jumped all over her in a sec., b.u.t with knowing self I feel you have to really asess every situation..which I do now (this has been teaching me patience)..the look on my face im sure was priceless, but calm, my girl (colleague as well but we vibe well together) said just not educated Queen...I smiled looked back and proudly said "its my crown I am bringing self back to its essence, I am an African Queen", and smiled....funny she smiled and said 'i see, I have been wondering what's up with all the headwraps'....I was truly at peace.....jumping all over her would have made self look like an idiot (ceeing things .....)...she could have though approaced better, headwrap, cloth on your head, whatever...I cant distinguish if it was a racist slur (still educating self and trying to get the understanding on that) or really just not taking the time...who knows, b.u.t, definatly doing the 1. Equality is something else, 'being equally to all existence', is serious stuff....basically I am no better than ANYONE...I have always felt that way, but I apply it...hard to explain but being relaxed at all situations is so much better than being uptight. The girls and I really practice this heavy, they get a better understanding when they are fighting, (they ofcourse think I am crazy b.u.t I always break it down to its finest and they cee), and ofcourse helps me, kids dont miss a beat, and are the best part, the growth within them is a beautiful thing...

Todays degree in the 1-26, is P , - power - is an ability...and not physically...more like....accepting self and fine tuneing for a better you, less controlling, more patient...truth.....

GOD: ALLAH is god, the black man is the original man......I did this down here...still trying to understand the ABBT (all being born to) read some heavy builds on it and agree on some things, b.u.t. I am horrible at math, and anything related to it...so within in time....

...the God does not say to much about my learning...but when he does I can cee.....progress (not sure if I want that word) anywho, he will break down what is going on and boy....its amazing to me!!....he cees the reflection, actually I really cee the reflection, also within the girls....I know he just loves that.....its humbling....did I say how much I LOOOVVVVEEEE the math?.....PEACE

Born

2008-09-09T17:33:00.000-04:00

Peace

Todays supreme mathematics is born: born is the completion of all in existence. To manifest from Knowledge to Born, which is the law of mathematics . To be complete in itself.

I cee todays science as makeing knowledge born....in order for me to move forward with what I know and understand I must show and prove in my ways and actions...making knowledge born.

Since getting knowledge it has been very hard to change my uncivilized ways...things that are as simple as not believing EVERYTHING that is being told to you, or seen, or even over heard...unless you can actually prove it. So many times in our lives we bring on negative energy that is not directly bestowed upon us. Gossip is mainly one of them, people are always going to talk, b.u.t never really proven, the person telling the story, the person who is in the story and the person being told, most of the time ( actually all of the time) will never be in the same room to tell the truth. In how to Hustle and Win by Supreme Understanding (a must read for all) he writes there are three sides of a story the A side the B side and the Truth....mmmmm makes you think huh. Make knowledge born....I no longer deal with what ifs, or what another person is saying or even thinking if it is not directly bestowed upon us, I truly am not wasting any energy on it especially if its negative, unless you can make knowledge born (makeing the information factual by showing and proving) to me I dont want any part of it. If you say your going to call back, call back, not only are you not making knowledge born, your word is not bond, ( and believe me that has been incredible hard for me your word aint shit if you dont follow through I dont care how little it is if you say it do it and mean it.) An incredible journey, and I love teaching the girls as well as giving some knowledge to those who come to me with problems, and ofcourse helps me. Nowadays I really do cee things much more clearly and often chuckle at those who try to get a rise out of me...indirectly, te he he (my chuckle), by dumb statements, untruths and bad actions. I tell my girls ALL the time if its not right and exact dont worry about it, it has to equal up like math 1+1=2 correct?...correct.

Peace

P.roper E.ducation A.lways C.orrects E.rrors

BUMMED

2008-08-30T18:17:00.000-04:00

Peace..so I am at work and just bummed the fuck out. My girls left with their dad for 4 nights and I am just.......lonely, holiday weeked, no family. I am an only child my pops passed 15 years ago and well my mom...well living her life. Everyone in my cipher are all married and the ones that are single (well one) has an amazing career and is always on the go, (like a single person should be).....and I am here. The GOD is locked up (will speak on it soon). I sit here watching all these patients (I work on the inpatient psych) and wondering to myself how come I did not land up in here. My divorce was traumatic, the ex comes from a HUGE family, my girls are lucky and I love that for them, its something I did not have and as it looks will never. Anywho......holidays, and when they leave me are honestly..... painful for me, I have no idea what I am going to do for the next couple of days, this shit sucks...... This is when I heavly reflect and ask did I make the right choices, did I make the right and exact decision to divorce (my choice) then I say almost immediatly, he was so mean (famous quote comes to mind sand-nigger, who would digrade someone like that, he would) so then I KNOW I made the right choice. It still is lonely....I am a little to old to get new friends even though some of the God's and Earth's have been amazing but that too seems to be a little too cliquey at times, but that is life. Just bummed..... so I will have a date with a very nice bottle of Merlot (you know I am always on my grown statues)and a bowl of heavly buttered popcorn with me on the couch in a very quiet house...mmmm I guess that aint so bad, but it would be nice to share it with someone so I am just................

Peace

NUBIAN QUEENS

2008-08-29T22:53:00.000-04:00

Yipeeee....school is in session. Since finding knowledge it proably is not such a great thing, because its not like they actually teach you the truth...but it is teaching me to keep striveing to do the 1. Ash is a senior, Te is a 7th grader and Ms. Zo is in 4th grade. I can hardly believe where the time went. A senior, big year for us over here on Jewel St. A 7th grader she is 11 years old and in Junior High, incredibly smart, she is like a sponge, the 4th grader my athlete, soccer starts in two weeks and swimming after that, we are very excited. My passion for these girls are at an all time high. We have been through some heavy issues in the last 2 years. Divorce and ALL that goes with it, but in the end everyone said went it is all over you will be closer than ever, and WE are. I have learned so much from these earth's it is amazing they are my back. I strive daily to make sure they are STRONG black women and so many times I feel I have completely failed them but one word, one smile, a peace comes through and I cee how even in the most non-original area we live in they love being original, and they take it with such ease, they are great teachers. Check us out as the year progresses the next big thing are born days they are ALL in the winter Ash will be 18 (ugh can't believe that one) on the 24th of December, Te 12 on January 19th and lil mama (Zo) is the 9th of October. PEACE

TEENAGERS

2008-08-16T17:55:00.000-04:00

...she is 17 years of age....and not a clue.....following through is my problem...then when I do I have a sulking kid wandering around me....my patience is at a low...b.u.t it is teaching me a few things about myself, look within correct?.......I can't let the little things go......everything will be done but one thing I will spend 20 minutes acting like a savage and in the mist of all of this realize how dead ass wrong I am....then what?....long talks, heartfelt response just to go back to the same ol ish.....Teenagers, in such a lost world, we dont stand for them enough.....they are not grown they are still very much children trying to grow up in a kinectic world......left with no father wandering around still trying to find herself.....maybe she has...she does not speak, apparently a trend with them.....4 months she will be considered an adult....really?!...so far from it, but what do we truly consider an adult, I know lots so called adults that are not responsible on what we consider as being a responsible adult.....mmmmmmmm.............

Emotion

2008-07-21T22:48:00.000-04:00

emotion: an affective state of consciousness in which joy, sorrow, fear, hate, or the like, is experienced, as distinguished from cognitive and volitional states of consciousness. ....and being uncivilized since birth im to have mental dicipline....mhm....reacting is soooo my nature...my girls have been my biggest teachers...they are so me and the father, funny though as of lately they enjoy telling me the math....daily......Zo every morning "Eternal do YOU know what today's math is?".......funny....as long as they can know before they are 37, it will all be PEACE